The Bright Side Of Being You

As soon as you woke up today, I bet you might have looked at yourself at least 3 times in the mirror. Now I’m asking you to list five good things about your appearance. Most of you struggle to even come up with three. But if I ask you to write down five things you wish you could change, I’m sure you’d come up with a list of fifty. Starting from the color of your skin to the size of your toes, you would write down everything you wish to change about yourself. For people who are short, they want to be taller, and for people who are tall, they wish for a normal height. So, who sets these standards, and who dictates what’s good and what’s bad? Have you ever thought about this?

Until a year ago, I was someone who couldn’t look in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am. Instead of saying that, I often found my flaws. I felt everything was wrong about me, and if I were granted one wish by God, I would have asked to change everything from head to toe. The relationship I had with myself reached a point where I was living in this body just for the sake of it because I had no other option. But what wrong has my body done to me? It kept me alive, ensured that all my vital organs are working at their best, and supported me through everything I’ve done so far. So, where did that sense of self-hatred come from?

I don’t want to play the victim card here, but I have no other option but to present my case this way. Who told you for the very first time that you were a little shorter or a little darker? I am well aware that we, as a species, are good observers and very self-aware. But, other than noticing it for yourself, there is a high chance that the ecosystem around you collectively worked to make you feel different from others. This can even come from your close family members. I remember when I was three and a half years old, my close relatives commented on how I looked. “Isn’t she a little chubby? Isn’t she a little short?” So, the conditioning starts at a very early age, and I’m sure you had instances from your childhood where you were reminded that you are different from others for not-so-good reasons. I don’t blame people for this because most of the time, these comments are not ill-intended.

Now, when someone points out these differences, it gradually grows into an insecurity. Your mind constantly fixates on your height or appearance because it’s always thinking about how to make it better. In this day and age, you can find answers to anything with a quick Google search. So, late-night browsing and YouTube DIYs can become your best friends. But in doing so, you may forget that you’re constantly trying to change something that is a unique creation in itself. And there will come a breaking point where you are ready to go under the knife to get that nose, lips, or cheeks “perfect.”

Did you know that the global cosmetic surgery market was valued at $67.3 billion in 2021 and is expected to grow to $201.0 billion by 2031? How are these industries proliferating at such a rapid pace? The answer is simple: they are feeding on our insecurities and egos. The desire to be socially accepted and glorified for having the “best” body or face drives us to change our own perfectly healthy and functional bodies.

So where does the problem lie? Is it within us, or is it because of the world around us? I would say it’s both. Insecurities are mostly psychological, and when we start to identify ourselves with the problem, we only see the problem. That’s why when you take a picture, you zoom in on your black mole on your right cheek instead of your pretty smile, or you put a filter to hide your pimples or to lighten your skin. Another issue arises from the beauty standards set by society, especially the celebrities and stars around you. They themselves undergo surgical procedures to match these standards and preach to us to be confident in our own selves. We take them at face value and conveniently forget that cosmetic brands and their carefully crafted advertisements are targeting our insecurities. In short, a billion-dollar industry is working day and night to make us fall prey and earn money by feeding on our insecurities, so BEWARE.

Can we do something about this, or once we fall into this infinite loop, is there no way out? Yes, we can do something about it. It starts with accepting yourself. Accept your small eyes, big nose, and fuller lips because they make you unique. Accept your uneven skin tone or pigmentation on your face. I’m not saying not to take care of yourself; I’m saying it’s okay as long as you do it out of self-care, but not okay when it becomes an obsession or self-hate. Try to embrace yourself by looking through your own eyes, not through someone else’s lens. One small step toward this is when you look in the mirror as soon as you wake up, tell yourself you are beautiful inside and out. Start reminding yourself that you are unique, and there is no one like you in the whole world. If we don’t embrace ourselves, who else will?